Heifer Fest - My uncanny resemblance to Liz Lemon

"Heifer" = Cow, "Fest" = short for festival. Therefore, Heifer Fest is what I have titled yesterday's afternoon "snack" session. A bag of popcorn to myself, 1/4 bag of tostitos with salsa, 1/4 of pita chips, and - here's the kicker - a 48oz bottle of Hershey's syrup that was almost finished, so I filled it with milk, shook it up, and drank it down... smooth, oh so smooth. As delicious as it all was - it definitely became clear that this was the culmination of a very... ummm... weak week, diet-wise. (As always please excuse my blatant violations of the English language.)

The whole "no TV" thing is really a sort of "whatever it takes" campaign. Whatever it takes to be obedient to God, whatever it takes to love my wife better, whatever it takes to become a professional triathlete, etc...  And as I kicked it off a couple of weeks ago, I found myself thinking that (particularly for the triathlon piece) improving my diet probably qualifies as "doing whatever it takes." So I've tried to improve my diet as well (unofficially, of course). But last weekend we had cookies and brownies at our friends' house, and I've been pretty in-discriminant of what I eat since then. Yesterday's afternoon was the culmination.

You see, I love food. Not just any food though - I love the bad stuff. Cookies, candy bars, chips, gummy bears, gummy worms, popcorn with extra butter, soda, chocolate chips - straight up from the bag, chocolate milk - ohhhhh the chocolate milk... You know up until about 3 weeks ago, I would go through a gallon of chocolate milk in 2 to 3 days (figure 5 to 6 big glasses every afternoon/evening). But when Emily figured it out, she made me promise to cut back to 2 medium size glasses a day, tops. Anyway, the point is that when it comes to junk food, I have no filter, and there is no bottom to my stomach. This is where my good friend Liz Lemon of 30 Rock comes into the fold.

Liz loves her food too - pretty much the same way I do. I remember in one show, a boyfriend complimented her on her beef stew, and she responded, "Oh thanks I just followed the recipe, but instead of water I used cheese." Yeah. I'm like that too. Annnnywho, she and I both know that we need to improve our diet for the sake of our aspirations - me for triathlons and her because she wants to have a baby. So in the show, she agreed to a deal with Frank (one of the other writers on the show) that they would quit their bad habits cold turkey - her junk food fix for his smoking addiction. Here's how that worked out for old Liz Lemon:



Ha ha, oh Liz. I wonder... what would be my equivalent of eating cigarettes... watching cigarette adds? They don't have those do they? Maybe watching a cartoon where all the characters are cigarettes? Ooo I got it - watching South Park - because that terrible show is about as healthy for you as cigarettes, and I would say is equally as distasteful. I just hope yesterday afternoon's junk food binge is the extent of my release. I'd hate to find a tape of me sleep-watching TV in the middle of the night. Of course viewing such a tape would be watching TV while conscious, so I guess I'm in the clear either way. :-)

Today's temptation rating: 6

Days without incident: 17
(Unless you count the screening of this clip for the blog... then it'd be 0. All those that think this was cheating say "I")